I knew it would be hard, everyone told me it would be hard, and now I can testify that it indeed is a fact! This week was overwhelmingly hard. I felt very slow in the language. We are teaching two investigators, who happen to also be our teachers. Their investigator names are Nikee and Phii Tom. Let me tell you one thing about the mtc, you are never in your comfort zone, everything you do is uncomfortable. You get used to it, but it's still strange and difficult. Let me share a little poem with you by Elder Holland.
Come to the edge he said
No I will fall
Come to the edge he said
No I will fall
Come to the edge he said
So I came to the edge
He pushed me and I flew
We are being pushed to our edge, but I am so grateful because we are preparing to fly. Everytime we leave a lesson, I am determined to work harder. But on Monday after we left out lesson I was just completely and utterly discouraged. I wept and my wonderful, amazing companion just listened and gave me comfort. We take turns comforting each other. Having a companion is both hard and wonderful all in one. I couldn't do it without her. I had no motivation to work hard to help our investigators. I had such a mix of emotions. Look up the song in tangled where she has mixed feeling about leaving her mom. On one hand she is excited and the other she is not sure if she should leave her mom haha.
Anyways I think mostly this week was extremely difficult because the Phii Thai's and Phii Cambodians left us. Let me tell you these people are so incredible. They shaped the way and excitement of our missions for all us young'ns. Now we are the old ones here haha. On Monday the Phii Thai's left us. I cried, I am so terrible at goodbyes maybe I will get used to it because there are going to be many goodbyes in the next 18 months. Then on Tuesday our Phii Cambodians left. As their bus drove away I was overwhelmed--that bus is going to CHANGE THE WORLD ( or at least Cambodia)
So Tuesday was already really difficult because some of my favorite people in the world had left us, I was feeling really sick in personal study, and all the sudden I could not breathe. I quickly excused myself to the hall where I basically just fell to the ground. It was the scariest feeling. I kept saying, Karen snap out of it, just breathe but the air wasn't there. I couldn't open my eyes and finally I got enough energy to open the door to my class and motioned for help. The elders quickly gave me a blessing, and called the clinic for some help. SOOOOOOOOOO embarrassing but I had no idea how I was going to get air. I tried to breath deep but it was just so fast. It was a blessing that I couldn't open my eyes because there were a lot of people trying to help me. Oh I felt so bad. The class next door which is another district going to Thailand was locked in their class and they thought someone had been murdered. I was taken to the clinic and things got better. The lord works in mysterious ways. I am grateful for the priesthood, I am grateful for prayers. Many prayers were answered that day and our zone was strengthen. I am totally fine. While I was in the clinic Glenna and Sam's wedding announcement came and a nice note from them. It made me so happy.
But with all bad things come amazing experiences. Amazing days and lots of hope. This week I was called as the Sister Training leader. I feel so humbled and grateful for this calling. It is an easy calling because I already love these sisters so much. It has been a privlidge being able to help the girls in our district. Serving a mission is hard, but we have all had the same feelings so we know how to help and support one another. I have already been directed by the spirit in helping specific people and asking specific questions. The lord is so aware of each of us. I am just so happy, I love callings it helps me to look outward.
The language is extremely hard, but we were all called to Thailand and he did not call us to fail. On Saturday we had our first TRC. It is basically where we teach RM's. It was incredible. It gave us all so much hope because they were kind and not intimidating like our teachers. They told us that they knew the language would come. They told us to bear our testimonies if nothing else. I can bear my testimony and say the baptismal invitation and our purpose in Thai. Lessons are hard because I want to be personal but I just don't have all the grammar and vocab. It's a good thing I am a pretty simple person because Thai forces us to be simple, which I really love. My companion is more complex and it's harder for her. But we are working hard and it will come I know that. But I don't want anyone to think it is not hard here. It is, many days I have no idea if the language will come. We accidentally said kill God instead of Ask God because of tones. But I have learned I am a pretty optimistic person and laughing makes it all better. WE LAUGH a lot. Mostly everyone laughs at me. Maybe that is why somehow I snort when I get scared or really every other time in between.
|AO and Sushi|
We know all the secrets since we have been here for so long, okay it's not that long but it seems like it. We go to the temple on Wednesday mornings and we eat there. Today the temple really made me appreciate and love the earth. I had a waffle today. YUMMM. Four square is the best game ever. You will find me and Sister D skipping most of our days. Everyone says they look up to our companionship, which is so interesting because we both have strong opinions which can cause conflict in planning lessons. This week when I was feeling really discouraged I met a sister from Thailand who will be serving in Washington. She said my Thai accent wasn't bad. She was so nice and It made me so excited to meet the Thai people.
That is crazy Chelsea saw me she should have said hi!!!
I have many more meetings now as the Sister Training Leader (STL). But I am getting excited for the new group of Thai's and Cambodians to come in June. I pray for Grace Jackson and Emily Ference all the time. They are coming in with 40 other Thai missionaries and 9 Cambodians.
|Sisters Phelps and Stack|
SO MANY!! AHH we are just preparing everyday so they can feel comfortable here and can love the mtc as much as we do. My prayers just keep getting longer and longer. I know I say this every week but I think about you guys and all the amazing people back home ALL the time. I pray for you all. I got the package. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I am so happy to have those shoes and the goldfish were amazing. your letters and packages just make my life. I am sad I didn't send more letters to my friends in the mtc because it is just so amazing. I can only write you back on P day though (new rule). So today I will be writing as many letters as I can. If you can't send me dear elders please email me. I don't have a lot of time but I would rather have email than nothing. In your email just leave your address so I can hand write you back. Man I am so grateful God has let me cross paths with all the amazing people in my life. Even though it was just three weeks those Elders and Sister that just left have imprinted on my heart (and not in a creepy twilight way). Also if somehow you put this on the blog and Eliza Smith sees this HOLY COW! COCOBEAN CUPCAKES? She sent me cupcakes and the sweetest note. Came at the perfect time. Eliza send me your address I want to write you. Everytime I write these emails it makes me realize more and more how blessed I am. I testify of the importance of families everyday. I have the best family ever and ever. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write each of you, but trust me you are not far from my mind. If I could explain to you how much I love you it's crazy!!!!!!!!!!!
Sister Karen Stack